Never Settle for Anything Less

At barely five months, Micah is a natural when it comes to lying on her belly.  Weeks ago, she struggled with her right arm caught underneath her body, but now, she's figured a way to slip her right arm out and release it so she can use that to fully support herself.  It's becoming harder to leave her in her crib or on the bed because we need to pick her up after several minutes.  She's yet to learn how to roll again and lie on her back so she can rest.  Whenever she gets tired of lying on her stomach, she would just go flat with face down and arms wide.

I find her cute doing all these.  I'm thinking it won't be long for her to really grow up, and I can already picture her going to school, and even having a boyfriend.  Oh my!  And knowing that she's a somewhat independent baby, I'd take up my friend, Noreen's advice of savoring the times when baby wants cuddling and hanging out with parents.  When Micah grows up, she'll have other things to take care of other than being with Nanay and Tatay.

I'm grateful though that Micah has learned things way too early.  At two months, she already knew it's best to sleep longer during the night and play during the day.  I rarely had sleepless nights, and hopefully won't have any more than necessary.  At three months, she learned how to sleep on her side so that her back doesn't get all warmed up and make her uncomfy.  And I couldn't figure out how she's learned to sleep on her own and since when.  We seldom carry, swing, and lull her to sleep, just when she wants to cuddle.

My only issue with her is that she likes play more than drinking milk or eating cereal.  But that can be helped.  I just need to be more patient with her.  Right now, she's again on her tummy for the third time in less than 30 minutes.  I need to get her up, chow!

Perhaps my memory of her has faded like a light fading at dusk as darkness envelopes the world upon the setting of the sun.  We still talk about her, but not often enough and we don't do yearly memorial so I suppose I've learned to forget her.  But let me test my memory of my loving mother who died on July 17, 1991, giving in to leukemia she battled with for more than 9 years.

I can still remember her singing to me the "12 Days of Christmas" carol, pointing out each gift for each day so that I don't confuse them when I sing the song.  I can still remember how she made me finish up an entire bag of banana chips because I was being greedy, and that made me puke and caused me headache.  I can still remember her squeezing my frail body between her legs while we were wrestling on bed.  My, she had very heavy and large legs!

I can still remember her struggling to keep the flaps of the traveling bag together so that she can zip it close.  We were always paying our relatives in the hillside a visit each summer, and she always wanted to make sure we brought everything, including medicines.  Not that she was sick and those were for her, for she was devoid of her disease each time we went to Tabunan. The medicines were for treating wounds - you know, scraped knees and cuts that we kids often get from being naughty and reckless.

I can still remember her baking us three cakes for our birthdays - one round, one square and one rectangle.  And she wasn't experimenting, her cakes were superb!  Yes, she was that adept at baking and cooking.  When she quit her teaching job at Normal, she ran an eatery by the street, directly across the now defunct Sudlon Agricultural School in Lahug.  She was gifted at kitchen stuff.  And mind you, she didn't have those electric stuff that make life in the kitchen easy.

I can still remember her playing asleep just to catch me stealing her coins, and then she confronted me about it.  It was the first time I learned that stealing and cheating were major, major sins.  And after our short talk, with me of course crying, she told me I needed to remember the lesson all my life, so she had to punish me.  Her traditional punishment was feeding us with a spoonful of water with five crushed red chili ("kolikot' in the vernacular, those teenie-weenie chilis that are flaming hot).  And to stress the weight of my sin, I got a bonus - a slap on each cheek.  Ouch!

Until now I can still remember the sting of the chili on my mouth and lips, and the sting of her hand on my cheeks.  But that made me steer clear of stealing other people's stuff, and that made me more honest in school.  I can most certainly and proudly say I never cheated during exams from kinder to college, not even once.  Yes, she was strict, but she was just being motherly.  After the chili punishment and the bonus left and right slapping, she handed me an ice to soothe my swollen mouth.  Other than ice, she would usually give us a cup of ice cream or some cold drink.  The pain subsided but the lesson is lasting.

I can still remember her one afternoon requesting me to use the hand-held fan to keep her cool.  She was sick that time, perhaps just released from the hospital.  But because I was too eager to play outside, I bargained a hundred fan strokes for play.  And so smiling, she said she's resolved with my 100 fan strokes and then lovingly allowed me to play.  Whenever I remember this part, I always wish I were mindful of her needs and able to endure giving her more than a hundred fan strokes.  But I was just a kid then, and I was selfish.

I can still remember her one night telling everyone we would eat out for dinner.  It was a Sunday, and a bit late, but it was never too late for a family outing. So we had dinner at SnowSheen, a famous restaurant at the time located near Colon Street.  The dinner was simple, but it was great.  We had lots of food.  We went home happy and full.  The three children, me and my siblings, slept right away after arriving home because school started very early in the morning.  But I was surprised to be roused from sleep earlier than usual.  It was odd, everybody was trying to get the kids up, and anxiously.  I knew something was up.  We were led into my parents' room, and there she was lying on the bed with her mouth mumbling, as if trying to tell us something, but no voice came out.  Her body was not moving at all, or was it shaking?  I was crying.  I knew right then that she was having a difficult time.  Then she was gone.

I can still remember her teaching me this song, "You Are My Hiding Place" which she sings to God whenever she feels afraid, sick and helpless.  She didn't have a great voice, she was even often out of tune, but that didn't stop her to praise and to thank her creator despite her condition.

Ma, I've figured you're still in my mind and heart after all, vivid and alive.  And they say I look like you more and more now that I have become a mom myself.  Before, I only had your face, but now I have your figure as well.  And my daughter has your curls.  Ma, let me remember you for always.  Now, I am back to being 10 years old again, wanting you to hug me tight and sing me a song.

It's no good.  It made her develop distaste for milk, making her drink more water instead.  Just let her chew on soft, clean stuff, particularly her fingers.  If she feels pain, try to give her oral pain reliever like paracetamol [haven't done this yet].  After three days of stopping teething gel application, Micah is back to finishing 150ml to 200ml of milk every 4 to 6 hours.  No more forced feeding.  Feeding time is a happy time again.  But Micah still demands feeding in a quiet, familiar place, which is our home so no traveling for some time for us unless necessary or irresistible.

Micah started off drinking formula, my breastmilk was merely secondary, and it was more like dessert or optional item in the menu.  Until such time that baby never liked drinking from my breast.  At 1 month, she would cry so loudly whenever I positioned her face right next to my breast.  She got weaned at barely two months old.  And right now, she does not seem to realize that my breast is her primary and natural source of food.

For obvious reasons, we needed to buy baby bottles.  We initially had one Kindercare 120ml bottle with X cut at the tip of the teat.  I did not buy the really expensive or the really weird ones, nor did I buy more than one bottle because in my mind, I wanted to breastfeed Micah.  It turns out I needed so many bottles.  Eventually, we had three Kindercare 120ml, and then we had five.  Ike and I then planned to buy Micah more decent and bigger bottles since formula has become her main source of food.

When we left Micah with her grandma in June to prepare the new apartment, the one we're living in right now, Ike's young brother, Prex, had accidentally toasted two of the Kindercare bottles.  Well, we had a more pressing reason to buy new bottles.  We decided to buy the new bottles while we were in Cebu City because options in Toledo City were kind of limited.  Thankfully, Ike received some cash blessing from his company.  It was about time we consider more expensive bottles not only because we had the money but also because we wanted Micah to drink more milk.  She was very tiny when she came out and tiny still at three months.

We thought of Dr. Brown bottles, but they seemed too hard to clean having too many parts in the inside like straws or suctions.  Avent seemed a good brand being imported and all, and it was heavily advertised, too.  Then we thought of Playtex bottles.  They look really neat and unique to me.  They were not as expensive as Avent but the features were very much visible.  Avent appeared too plain to me.  We looked at another option, Chicco.  Pretty much a goodie product.  Micah got a Chicco from one of her grandparents, but we had saved it for her cereal because its teat had too big a hole.  Finally, we went for Playtex, a three-bottle set of VentAire(R) wide 250ml.

Some flashback, when Micah was around two months old, she was so greedy of formula milk that we replaced her X-cut teats with those with small hole (labeled S in other brands but the equivalent of rapid flow in Playtex).  Micah kind of like sucking lots of milk into her mouth, she could not even swallow all of it.  She was then feeding in recline position as I carried her in my arms like I was breastfeeding.  When she turned three months, she developed the habit of lying down while drinking milk, so we shifted back to the X-cut teats for fear she might choke.

Fastforward to buying Playtex, the set did not come with slow flow nipples.  We had to buy replacement teats with slow flow, and the cost of a two-nipple set was already enough to buy like five Kindercare bottles!  But fine, we bought it anyway.  I forewent buying a baby bottle cleaning solution for the two replacement teats.  Since there were only two replacement teats, we figured to just save the third bottle until such time Micah is able to control her drinking milk using teats with fast or rapid flow.

Whew, this is quite a long one.  Anyway, just today at 8:30am, I accidentally fed Micah with fast flow teat using Kindercare.  (We had to continue using the salvaged Kindercare bottles because two Playtex bottles were not enough.  It is so much trouble cleaning bottles now and then.)  Micah was able to gulp down 130ml in five minutes.  It was amazing, particularly since Micah has been struggling with her appetite, and we were trying to make her drink more so she grows bigger and heavier.

For a month now, we've been logging her daily intake.  She has an average consumption of 500ml a day, which is way below the ideal of 750ml to 900ml a day (2oz to 2.5 oz of milk a day per pound of body weight).  We came to a point of changing her formula and feeding her with amino acids, which prove to be really effective.  We've also decided not to travel Micah to Cebu City until her growth has stabilized.  Indeed, long travels are stressful, especially to baby.  We're seeing lots of improvement in Micah's body now, but that is yet to be confirmed the moment we see her doctor again.

At 12noon today, I prepared 150ml of milk, and this time using Playtex with rapid flow teat.  She too finished it up in about 10 minutes, and she looked like she could drink more.  There were instances in the past that Micah would finish 120ml to 150ml of formula but only after sleeping for more than four hours.  The time increment in between feeding today is less than four hours, but my baby is already hungry and able to take in plenty of milk.  I am so happy, I could write this long!  And I am so happy it is time to take out the third Playtex bottle with rapid flow teat!


FYI: Based on study, Playtex VentAire bottle system is better than Avent and Evenflo on all factors, and better than Gerber on most factors.  I haven't seen Gerber bottles in person.  Playtex VentAire wide is great because it mimics the shape of the breast.  But if baby is used to narrower, longer nipples, there would be a problem.  With Playtex VentAire wide, baby needs to open her mouth very wide to suck in milk.

Micah had some difficulty with Playtex using slow flow teat, she can't suck in enough milk because she is used to Kindercare's narrow, long teats.  But with Playtex VentAire wide with rapid flow teat, sucking becomes effortless and milk just flows.  Had to place pillow under Micah's head for elevation when drinking milk, she does not like to drink milk in sitting/recline position.

Playtex VentAire bottle has removable bottom, and if Micah appears to want more milk, we would just add a new mix through the bottom cap without removing the bottle off her mouth.  That way, Micah drinks milk without interruption, but of course, there has to be somebody to help in making additional formula.  Playtex bottle is yet too heavy for Micah to hold on her own.

Found out that there is a Chicco version that looks like Playtex VentAire, the angled bottle.  It is called Chicco Evolution Angled.  The difference is that vent in Chicco is through the nipple, with Playtex it is through the base.  I am not endorsing Playtex for all it's worth especially since I haven't used any other brands except Kindercare.  However, I know for a fact that vent through the nipple causes nipple collapse and vacuum.

Time and time again, the Internet is my best resource for parenting tips and advice.  You can't blame me for that since I lost my mother early and my grandma (mother's side) is almost always out of reach.  And yes, MIL is likewise too caught up with the immature youngest son, the growing piglets, the always-babbling OFW hubby, and the couple's future retirement nest up north.

So yes, I learned during my pregnancy over the Internet that videos do more harm than good for babies below two years of age.  In fact, a simple Internet search would provide you with a long list of websites that suggest the same, over and over again.  So no, I am not going to introduce videos to Micah until she reaches two (so help me God).  My downloaded Sesame Street eps and nursery rhyme vids have to be shelved until then.  And it is good that the television at home is not working (yet) due to the lack of an antenna adapter.  Although, we are going to watch tv soon but not with Micah.  And Micah can watch me write for my clients.  I better perfect the habit of avoiding youtube.com temptations from now on.

According to reports dated August 2007, babies under two with heavy exposure to videos, kiddie types or otherwise, are susceptible to suffering slow cognitive development and slow language development.  Recent studies show that brain development among babies aged two or less who watch kiddie video such as Baby Einstein and Barney are no smarter than babies who have late exposure to videos and tv shows. With this in mind, it is even more dangerous to have your babies sit with you while you watch adult shows and other inappropriate programs and vids.

Babies under two with at least 60 minutes of exposure to videos daily showed a third slower brain development than their counterparts who did not watch videos.  The worse thing of all is that:

“Those [parents] who use DVDs as baby sitters are hardly ever successful [in parenting],” said Dr. Victor Strasburger, a professor of pediatrics at the University of New Mexico.

As a parent, this is alarming to the point of being scary.  Although there continues to be a heated debate about babies and videos, experts appear to agree on one thing:

...parents are better off interacting with their children than planting them in front of the television.

It is all about marketing.  The public has been deceived and mislead for ages that certain programs and shows are educational and informative when in fact they are useless at a certain degree.  Well, they might be designed as so, but children under two could know no better.  Videos have been created and edited countless times, they can be thought of as perfect media.  But personal communication, such as between child and parents, child and teachers, child and others, are never perfect because they are spontaneous and unedited.  If babies are exposed to the so-called perfect communication, then they are likely to develop distaste for imperfect communication.  Well, I don't want Micah to stop listening to me (and my imperfect communication skills) because she is better off listening to some videos!

We parents should not let tv step in to babysit our little bundles when we are too busy to be there personally.  You can't beat person-to-person interaction, particularly if it's between baby and parents.

READINGS AND SOURCES:

Baby Einsteins: Not So Smart After All
Study: Screen time bad for baby
How Not to Make a Baby Einstein
TV Watching Is Bad for Babies' Brains
Babies and Videos